Cider and Salsa

Last week I made a visit to Kalamazoo to be with my mom during her back surgery (glad to say everything went well and she is recovering). This also gave me an opportunity to visit family and friends out there, which is nice because it has been too long since I spent more than 24 hours in Kazoo. Since everything went smoothly I can say that it was a nice trip and will share two stories from it that I find humorous (at least now I do).

Story 1: Drinking Cider
On Tuesday I was planning on leaving for Kazoo after work, but turns out I failed to get the plans correct and needed to leave more like at 3pm than 6pm. So I ran home and got things packed and left in a hurry. I was thirsty and had cider so I thought it made a lot of sense to put some in a thermos for the road. The only problem is that the only thermos I had there was one that every attempt I've made to use it has ended with the contents spilled on me. However I told myself I have a two degrees in mechanical engineering and closing in on a third and should be able to properly operate a thermos.
With that I hit the highway and shortly after decided to take a drink. I carefully looked over the situation and was pretty sure I knew the area that the fluid came out of and put my mouth around the whole thing to ensure no spillage. As I tipped it up I quickly realized that in addition to the part that opens up it also opens a small slit all the way around the rim, which my mouth was in no way around. This resulting in a large amount of cider being poured out on my shorts and shirt...son of a...
I then calmed down and was happy to have some clean shirts sitting next to me (thanks to Sherry grabbing them for me at the career fair) and changed my shirt...shorts had to wait until later. After about a half hour I needed another drink and decided that know I really understand what's going on an will be able to operate it. Sure enough I finally was able to successfully drink out of it without spilling...YES! Then I got about half way done with the cider and sure enough I tipped it too far up and the cider got away from me and right onto the new, clean shirt...SON OF A...seriously?!
No joke I was yelling at that inanimate object and threatening to throw it out the window (if I didn't hate littering so much I'm pretty sure I would have followed through with my threat). The whole time I was chewing it out the stupid thing just sat there mocking me...some day I will get revenge on that thermos.

Story 2: Bachelor Meals
While waiting for my mom to get out of surgery my grandpa, dad, and I went to the cafeteria for a drink and a bite to eat. We were chatting away and my grandpa began to share how now that he is living alone his meals are a lot less diverse. Basically he bought a gallon of sauerkraut and ate the whole thing straight for each meal. Then he went and bought a gallon of corn beef hash and attempted the same thing (3/4th of the way through it he couldn't take it anymore and quit). I then began to give him a hard time about that, but my dad said he can't give him any grief since mom was going to be laid up for 6-8 weeks meaning he'll be eating mostly just beans for that time. At this point I realized I had no right to give him a hard time either because if it wasn't for Demoree I would be on an exclusively chips and salsa diet...no wonder God looked at man and said it wasn't good for him to be alone.