I just got back to Michigan last night from my first week in Memphis. Everything is going quite well…there was a small explosion that I caused but no damage was done (to people or equipment). One of the most intriguing aspects of working on a “secure” naval research facility is how the rules change constantly. Some times they are really strict about having foreign nationals carefully watched (this time since Laetitia is French we can't go past the front gate until another car comes to lead us in) and other times it seems like they don’t care (the previous test we once had to go back to let the guards know we had a foreign national with us). So for this post I decided to post my top 5 naval security moments from the Navy’s Large Cavitation Channel (LCC).
1) During the first test I was involved in (Fall 2004 – Hiplate Phase III) the truck full of equipment was being unloaded when some how a dog got into the facility. All the security guards began to chase the dog to catch it…the dog won.
2) During the previous experiment (Winter 2006 – Hiplate Phase IV) the military police ran security for a week while the normal guards went away for some training. The military police follow the letter of the law, so when they searched our car in the morning they had each individual open up their bags. Well the first morning Eric was really annoyed by it and told the guard to open it up themselves, but they aren’t allowed to touch our bags. So after a few minutes Eric finally caved in and started pulling out all of his clothes from the bag while the guard kept saying "you don’t have to take out everything." But Eric just kept going and saying “here look at my underwear” or “make sure you search the entire bag I might have hidden something in here.” I don’t know if this sounds as funny as it actually was…I was cracking up the whole time.
3) Early during the Winter 2006 test Eric and I were working inside when one of the security guards came in to let Eric know that a package had arrived for him. We were waiting for the arrival of our test model (10 ft by 45 ft large piece of stainless steal), so Eric asked if the package happened to be 50 ft long, obviously joking. The guard responded that he didn’t know since he didn’t take a good look at the package…Eric and I laughed thinking he simply hadn't listened to what Eric said. He heads out to the guard shack and asks the guard where his package was, and they responded with “oh it’s coming around the corner right now.” Eric looks and sure enough it was a 50 ft flatbed semi with our test model on it. I’m really kind of curious what they wanted Eric to do with it…carry it in on his back?
4) Once again during the Winter 2006 test we came driving up to the front gate, and the security guard let us in. We pulled up and were told to pull off to the side to get our car searched like normal. Right then another car pulled up and the guard got all confused. After a couple seconds of thinking he leans over to us and says “man there is another car so I’m just going to have to let you slide this morning.” So since there were actually two cars we didn’t have to get searched…we finally figured out how to beat their security system.
5) This past week (Summer 2006 – Hiplate Phase V) I was driving around Memphis taking care of some odds and ends that needed to be done. I was going to drive back to the facility, but I needed to know if a package I was waiting for had arrived so I called the security guards to ask if any packages for me had been delivered that day. After a long discussion with a security guard I still didn’t know if any packages had been delivered, but they did take down a description of the package (a brown box with my name on it) so they could keep their eyes out for it. Frustrated I headed back to the facility hoping that it really was there so I won’t have to go back out to buy it. I pull up to the front gate and ask the guard if any packages were delivered today (there is only one gate with one guard that watches it), and he responds with “I don’t know if any packages were delivered today but he did see packages a few days earlier.” I really didn’t know what to make of this response so I just smiled and nodded.
While many people find the guards extremely annoying, I find them rather funny. It is always an adventure with them, and for the most part they really are nice guys. I just thought I would share with my readers some of their finer moments on the job.
1) During the first test I was involved in (Fall 2004 – Hiplate Phase III) the truck full of equipment was being unloaded when some how a dog got into the facility. All the security guards began to chase the dog to catch it…the dog won.
2) During the previous experiment (Winter 2006 – Hiplate Phase IV) the military police ran security for a week while the normal guards went away for some training. The military police follow the letter of the law, so when they searched our car in the morning they had each individual open up their bags. Well the first morning Eric was really annoyed by it and told the guard to open it up themselves, but they aren’t allowed to touch our bags. So after a few minutes Eric finally caved in and started pulling out all of his clothes from the bag while the guard kept saying "you don’t have to take out everything." But Eric just kept going and saying “here look at my underwear” or “make sure you search the entire bag I might have hidden something in here.” I don’t know if this sounds as funny as it actually was…I was cracking up the whole time.
3) Early during the Winter 2006 test Eric and I were working inside when one of the security guards came in to let Eric know that a package had arrived for him. We were waiting for the arrival of our test model (10 ft by 45 ft large piece of stainless steal), so Eric asked if the package happened to be 50 ft long, obviously joking. The guard responded that he didn’t know since he didn’t take a good look at the package…Eric and I laughed thinking he simply hadn't listened to what Eric said. He heads out to the guard shack and asks the guard where his package was, and they responded with “oh it’s coming around the corner right now.” Eric looks and sure enough it was a 50 ft flatbed semi with our test model on it. I’m really kind of curious what they wanted Eric to do with it…carry it in on his back?
4) Once again during the Winter 2006 test we came driving up to the front gate, and the security guard let us in. We pulled up and were told to pull off to the side to get our car searched like normal. Right then another car pulled up and the guard got all confused. After a couple seconds of thinking he leans over to us and says “man there is another car so I’m just going to have to let you slide this morning.” So since there were actually two cars we didn’t have to get searched…we finally figured out how to beat their security system.
5) This past week (Summer 2006 – Hiplate Phase V) I was driving around Memphis taking care of some odds and ends that needed to be done. I was going to drive back to the facility, but I needed to know if a package I was waiting for had arrived so I called the security guards to ask if any packages for me had been delivered that day. After a long discussion with a security guard I still didn’t know if any packages had been delivered, but they did take down a description of the package (a brown box with my name on it) so they could keep their eyes out for it. Frustrated I headed back to the facility hoping that it really was there so I won’t have to go back out to buy it. I pull up to the front gate and ask the guard if any packages were delivered today (there is only one gate with one guard that watches it), and he responds with “I don’t know if any packages were delivered today but he did see packages a few days earlier.” I really didn’t know what to make of this response so I just smiled and nodded.
While many people find the guards extremely annoying, I find them rather funny. It is always an adventure with them, and for the most part they really are nice guys. I just thought I would share with my readers some of their finer moments on the job.
4 comments:
I am glad you enjoyed staying there. :))
hmmm... surprise, surprise, something that you're doing in Memphis isn't as safe as it could be! I am shocked! :)
Come on...post something!!!
Our tax dollars hard at work!
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